Humor

Fun Puns

Some puns Intended…

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He got his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack.  One hat said to the  other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine .

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.  The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’  The other says ‘Are you sure?’  The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did. 

 

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