Humor

Ice Fishing + Obama Check Cashing

 Ice Fishing Decides Presidential Race!

The Presidential election 2012 was too close to call. Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.

The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.  It was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin .  There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.  Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, the democrats got together secretly and said, “I think the Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow don’t bother fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.’  The next night (after Mitt returns with 50 fish), the democrats got together for the report of how the republicans were cheating.

Obama said, “You are not going to believe this, he’s cutting holes in the ice.”

 

 The President wants to simply cash a check…

President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, “Good morning, Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?”

Cashier:

“It would be my pleasure, sir. Could you please show me your ID?”

Obama:

“Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States.”

Cashier:

“Yes, sir, I know who you are, but with all the government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing your ID.”

Obama:

“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”

Cashier:

“I am sorry, but these are government and bank rules and I must follow them.”

Obama:

“I am urging you to please cash this check.”

Cashier:

“Look, this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without an ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods, he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank lobby into a cup. With that shot, we knew him to be Tiger Woods and we cashed his check.”

“Another time, Andre Agassi came in without an ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and served an ace shot directly into the center of our bank logo 90 feet away. With that spectacular shot, we cashed his check. So what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?”

Obama stood there thinking and thinking and finally said:

“Honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can’t think of a single thing I can do.”

Cashier:

“Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”

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