Four New Posts in Humor…
When Obama was re-elected…
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home? Joey says “A computer.” The teacher replies, “That would be very useful.” Kimmy says “A new lawn mower.” and gets a similar response. Little Johnny pops up and says “At my house we don’t need nothing!” The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something. Little Johnny replies, “No I’m sure. When Obama was re-elected, I remember my dad saying, ‘Well, that’s the last damn thing we needed!”
TEL AVIV, Israel — The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It’s an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.
Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: “Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London. Shalom!”
I don’t care who you are or what you believe in, this is funny.
Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence. Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’ Then, little Darrell, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: “Well, dumb ass, stop clapping!”
How to start each day with a positive outlook:
1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it ‘Barack Obama’.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5 Your PC will ask you: ‘Do you really want to get rid of ‘Barack Obama?’
6. Firmly Click ‘Yes.’
7. Feel better?
GOOD! – Tomorrow we’ll start with the RINOs in the Senate