Humor

All about scandals…

 

<<<What Scandals???>>>  

Bob: “Did you hear about the Obama administration scandal?”
Jim: “You mean the Mexican gun running?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean SEAL Team VI Extortion 17?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The State Dept. lying about Benghazi?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean the voter fraud?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean the president demoralizing and breaking down the military?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean the Boston Bombing?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean the president wanting to kill Americans with drones in our own country without the benefit of the law?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “You mean the president arming the Muslim Brotherhood?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The IRS targeting conservatives?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The DOJ spying on the press?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “Sebelius shaking down health insurance executives?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, e-mails and everything else?”
Bob: “No, the other one”
Jim: “The State Dept. (new today) interfering with an IG investigation on dept. sexual misconduct?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “HHS employees (also new today) being given insider information on Medicare Advantage?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “Clinton, the IRS, Clapper & Holder all lying to Congress?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I got it! You mean that 65 million low-info voters stuck us again with the most corrupt administration in American history?”
Bob: “THAT’S THE ONE!”

 

Leno on the scandals

“I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don’t want to get audited by the IRS.”

On NSA surveillance:  “We wanted a president who listens to all Americans – now we have one.”

On a new IRS commissioner: “He’s called ‘acting commissioner’ because he has to act like the scandal doesn’t involve the White House.”

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: “If he really wants to
close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month.”

Concerning the Benghazi, Associated Press, and IRS scandals:  “Remember in the old days when President Obama’s biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?”

On Obama saying he didn’t know about the IRS scandal: “He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS.”

“The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi: Hope and change the subject.”

“It’s casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they’re casually going through everybody’s phone calls and records.”

“It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth.”

“Fox News has changed its slogan from ‘Fair and Balanced’ to ‘See, I told you so!'”

“These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American. that’s how bad it’s gotten.”

On Obama’s commencement address: “He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs.”

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a ferris wheel: “The only way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi.”

On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: “They took ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House.”

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