Humor

One Tough Teacher, Poor Eric & Ignorant Travelers

 

One Tough Teacher!

Rick, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started, he injured his back.

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn’t noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

The punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest.

There was dead silence. He had no trouble with discipline that year.

 

Eric and his cell phone

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

“Hi sweetheart. It’s Eric. I’m on the train. Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life. Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart.”

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly.  When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone, “Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed.” Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer.

 

 

Actual complaints received by Thomas Cook Holidays from dissatisfied customers:

“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local Convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons.  I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

“The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

“They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax. ”

“No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

“Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

“We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

“The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

“There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

“We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

“I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

“We requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-imbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

 

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