Humor

Monkeys and Whales

 

<<< Monkeys >>>

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.  They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how Obamacare will work!

Qualified to Pick Lemons

Senior Lemon Picker, Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.  This woman applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”  “Well, as a matter of fact, I have.” she said.  “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers and I voted for Obama.”

Donations…

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.  Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.  The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations.”  “How much is everyone giving, on an average?” the driver asks.  The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

 

Was Jonah swallowed by a whale?

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.  The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’  The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

 

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