Humor

Walter and the President + A Christmas Warning + Shortest Books

Walter and the President

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time.  One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.  “Walter,” responds the little boy.  “And what is your question, Walter?”  “I have three questions:

First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?

Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually gotten worse?

Third, why did you say that you knew nothing about the attack in Bengahzi, or the IRS targeting conservatives or other scandals, when others think you knew about these things?

Just then, the bell rings for recess, and Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.  When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we?  Oh, that’s right question time.  Who has a question?”  Another little boy puts up his hand.  Obama points him out and asks him his name.  “Steve,” he responds.  “And what is your question, Steve?”  “Actually, I have two questions.  First, why did the recess bell ring five minutes early and second, what the hell happened to Walter?”

A Christmas Warning

With Christmas upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends.  Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.

Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something that I’ve never done before, I took a cab home!

Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock but since it was a cab they waved it past.  I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise, as I had never driven a cab before.  I don’t know where I got it from, and now that it’s in my garage, I don’t know what to do with it.

 

 World’s Shortest Books


THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY  By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.  Illustrated by Michael Moore and with a foreword by George Soros

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA  By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL  By Hillary Clinton

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY  By Bill Clinton

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD  By Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY  By Dennis Rodman

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE  By Al Gore & John Kerry

HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST  By Dr. Jack Kevorkian

TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE  By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnell

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE  By Mike Tyson

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS  By O. J. Simpson

MY BOOK OF MORALS  By Bill Clinton with introduction by the Rev. Jesse Jackson and foreword by Tiger Woods with John Edwards

AND, JUST ADDED:  MY COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OF MILITARY STRATEGY  By Nancy Pelosi

And the shortest book of them all…

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE by Barack Obama

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