Humor

Frozen Windows, Best Singles Ad and More

 

Frozen Windows

 

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen; won’t open.”   Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”  Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really screwed up now.”

 

 Singles Ad

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me…. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I’ll be waiting…..

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society!

 

Texas A&M Study Calls Obama 5th Best President in America

Good research work by a fine institution.

OBAMA RATED 5th BEST PRESIDENT IN OUR HISTORY!!!

From a total of 44 US Presidents: Obama is rated as the 5th best President ever! The A&M’s Public Relations Office released the following statement, “…after only 5 years in office, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best President ever.”   The details according to TEXAS A&M:

#1. Reagan & Lincoln tied for first,

#2. Twenty three presidents tied for second,

#3. Seventeen other presidents tied for third,

#4. Jimmy Carter came in fourth, and

#5. Obama came in fifth!

This appears to be totally reasonable…

 

 Poor Morris

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. “So”, he says to them:

“Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses.”

“Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza.”

“Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center.”

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown.”

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says: “Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property”.

Sarah replies, “Property? .. The X#&$*@ has a paper route!”

 

 

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