Humor

Healthy Insanity & Drunks Talking

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in Retirement…

1.. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars…watch ’em slow down!

2.. On all your check stubs, write ‘For Marijuana’!

3.. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

4.. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5.. Sing along at the opera.

6.. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I won!, I won!’

7.. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car parking, yelling ‘run for your lives! They’re loose!’

8.. Tell Your children over dinner: ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go…

9. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room; drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: THERE IS NO PAPER IN HERE!

 

What do you say when you’re drunk?

 

WORDS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
5. Indubitably

WORDS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionally
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

WORDS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. I’m not interested in fighting you.
6. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real fool!
7. Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

 

Comments are closed.