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Dear Abby & The 60th High School Reunion

 

A “Dear Abby” Letter We Would Love to See

 

Dear
Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card
bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts
at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let
our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with
the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our
neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are
an odd bunch to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts,
running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next
with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he’s on
his knees 5 times a day with Muslims. Finally, the last straw. He’s
demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must
sign a loyalty oath. It’s just so horribly creepy! Can you help? Signed,
Lost
————————————————–
Dear
Lost,

Stop whining, Michelle.  You’re getting to live in the White
House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for
you. You can divorce the “fraud” any time you want. The rest of us are
stuck with him for almost two more years.

Signed,
Abby

 

60th High School Reunion

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.  Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”  After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, “Yes, yes I will!”

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes? Or did she say No?  He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.  He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.   As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes? Or did you say No?  “Why you silly man, I said Yes. Yes I will! And I meant it with all my heart.”  The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.  Then she continued: “And I am so glad you called because I couldn’t remember who asked me!

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