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Helga’s Diary & Things I trust, far more than Hillary Clinton

HELGA’S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP

DEAR DIARY – DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses, swimsuits,
short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter – The
Late Bloomers decided on this “all-girls” trip. It will be my first one
– and I can’t wait!
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain
today — seems like a very nice man.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck.
Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored
and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with
him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and
champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I
could not be unfaithful to my husband.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at
piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me
several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way
with me, he would sink the ship…. I was shocked.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 6
Today I saved 2600 lives.

Things I trust, far more than Hillary Clinton:

* Mexican tap water
* A rattlesnake with a “pet me” sign
* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
* Michael Jackson’s doctor
* An Obama nuclear deal with Iran
* A Palestinian on a motorcycle
* Gas station Sushi
* A Jimmy Carter economic plan
* Brian Williams news reports
* Loch Ness monster sightings
* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton

 

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