California vs. Texas & Birth Control
A CALIFORNIA – TEXAS COMPARISON
- The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.
- The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
- He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
- He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
- The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
- The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
- The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
- The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
- The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
- PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
- The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
- The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
- The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
BIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?
“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”
“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee….”Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks and believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night.”
You gotta love grandmas!