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Smile II

The Old Man Wins! + The Psychiatrist vs. The Bartender

An Old Man Gets Back at the Bad Guys

An old man was eating in a truck stop minding his own business, when three dangerous looking bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man’s coffee and then he took a seat at the counter.

The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

One of the bikers said to the waitress, “Humph, not much of a man, was he?”

The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.”

 

The Psychiatrist vs. the Bartender

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.  So I went to a shrink and told him: “I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.”  “Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”

“How much do you charge?” “Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.  “I’ll sleep on it,” I said. Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.

“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.  A bartender cured me for $10.00.  I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.” “Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?” “He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Nobody is under there now!”  It’s always better to get a second opinion.

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